One Moment That Will Last Forever

Daughter Beth is now in her 30's. She was born with brain damage and at the age of two we had her tiny little Jenny Linde bed next to ours to monitor her as she was on meds. for seizures. I leaned over to check her in the morning and returned to my place in bed. To my surprise, she crawled up on our bed and planted a kiss on my cheek. That has never happened since, but I can tell you it has lived in my mind over and over like a long playing movie. Any parent with a child who displays autistic tendencies and lives in their own world knows what I am talking about. Bonding is such an issue. I hug her, stroke her hair, and bond as much as she will allow. I know she loves me, but have learned to accept she cannot physically respond in kind. Our world is blessed to have her, just the way she is, as we have learned to treasure each and every simple thing life has to offer. God Bless the miracles in our lives!

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Holding On...

Mom was dehydrated last weekend, sending her to ER. My sister called upset that she would not last. My younger brother suggested we should have a plan in place for her funeral. I agreed because I don't want to have to make decisions when the time comes, but am hoping against hope we don't have to give her up yet. Went to see her yesterday. Took our grandson Jake also. As I approached Mom to wheel her out of her room she looked up with her sweet eyes saying, "Marilyn" and my heart melted. Just being near her is comforting and it was sad seeing her struggling to answer anything we asked her as if she could not access information in her brain. Jake played cards with my sister and me and my younger brother, we call "the funny one", injected his humor. Still, the time seems fleeting when with her. Putting my all into this week as the school yearbook is due and one art show and then it is free sailing just about to the end of the school year. I so wish I lived clo

Pocket Call

Woke to the sound of my cell phone ringing..it was Bob's phone calling me from his pocket. He and buddy Denny run around together and could hear some of their conversation though they were not aware the phone had triggered. Spent yesterday out of state seeing my mother Audra. She's 86 and in a resthome. I used to be more of a Daddy's girl and have missed him every day in the 12 yrs. since he has been gone. But watching my mother go through the wrenching caregiving of her husband, financial loss, then the decline of her own health...and eventually her smoking and catching herself on fire, the strength she showed recovering from her skin-grafting...well, it was just plain horrible but she seldom complained. During the years of growing up Mom made all four of us feel as if we were only children. She would be up until 2 a.m. ironing mountains of clothing and sneak into our rooms at night to put them away as we slept. Her kitchen was spotless, with a hot meal on the table every

It's November...

I was opening a big trunk in our bedroom to unpack the Christmas items I have saved through the years for the holidays. There are two that I will never part with from Linda (who passed away suddenly May '09). You know how you open each tissue wrapped item and get that "Oh, I'd forgotten I had these"...well, that's what I was thinking as I opened these precious bundles... One was an angel Linda found...she repainted the blonde hair to black and gave it to Beth. The other she was bursting at the seams with excitement to give to me (and Bob), was a Christmas Tree Farm Scene... . They are both reminders of how much love Linda put into everything she did. It wasn't money, but downright thoughtfulness that set her apart from others. This is a very trying month for me as my sister Martha died a year ago next Monday, on my birthday. I have decided that for me to sit around or sleep due to depression is wasting the life Martha and Linda so desperately wanted to live. S

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